Christmas, something for nothing.

Just last weekend we had a Christmas Open House. We hosted an open house like this a few years ago when we were in our house in town.  Both parties were great, in that we had many friends come. This last party though was in this home, this home that we remember every day is a gift, built by God.


Keith and I discussed the pure joy of having our friends come and share their time with us. We were overwhelmed by their kindness and their compliments on our home.  I am so humbled when people come  and compliment my home.  Many seem in awe of it, funny thing, we are too. I am truly amazed that I have all of this, I do not think I respond correctly, I know full well this house and all that we have is straight from God.  I want to give God credit for all of this. Yet when I say things like "Couldn't have done it with out God." Or "We did work, but God gave us everything to get it done." I feel like I am either freakin people out like I am some kind of 'Holy Roller'.  Or I am being ungracious to the praiser for not accepting the full responsibility of the praise OR the worst,...What if my saying "God blessed us with this, all of this, the work, the time, the funds, the energy..", causes someone to think 'Well he didn't do that for me.' I want to let everyone know how grateful we are, yet I don't want to seem proud, in the haughty way. .  .  Keith and I both want so to always give God credit for all of this, because we KNOW with out God, this would not exist.  In worldly reality it should not.


So many miracles, yes, miracles are involved in the building of our house.  God incidences.
The market rising so that we made an almost double profit on our house that we only lived in for 4 years.
This land we found, after many other 'that's it' acres being 'lost'.  The man we bought from, died just a month after we found him and purchased from him. Each person we hired to do a job, seemed a God appointment. Our marriage surviving  building our home, daily for 1 year and living in a very small travel trailer. The rock, the water, the deals on furniture, the price of steel, the trusses, it goes on and on.


We know that more wonderful than the house are our friends.  In crisis and celebration we have had our friends to share with, some would bring a meal or give a shoulder to cry on or a laugh and a good time.  We would reciprocate in the same way, because we are good people, too. When we built this house, our friends went beyond what we expected from anyone.  We had people here to hook up electric and put our roof on. We would have someone ask how is it going, we would explain something we were working on and a day later people would show up to help. And they got NOTHING from it, except  blisters.  We can never ever repay those that showed up and climbed up on the roof, on Sunday afternoons. Having the work done ends up being an added bonus to our finding out the true meaning of friendship. Seriously, why would anyone desire to come and do something for someone else without expecting anything in return?


In the light of this season, I think of  the reason for, Jesus' birth in this world. Jesus too, is a something for nothing.  Jesus, God, received absolutely nothing for coming to us, except pain. Oh yeah, and those that believe in the miracle of Jesus, God 'gets' us.
 Like he really NEEDS us.
We can do absolutely nothing for God, he does not need us to survive. He will live forever with or without us.  We on the other hand received everything.  We have been forgiven for every horrendous, stupid sin we will ever commit AND we get to live eternally in a perfect world with God as our Light. Why? So God can have us near him? Because God needs us? God desires us? I don't think so.  There is truly not one thing we can fulfill for God, yet he desired to die for us.  God desired to come to this world and take up residence in a tiny frail human body. A body that was not super natural, not super strong, not super good looking. Just a plain ol body, subject to pain and illness. The body of a child whose parents were not very 'well off'.   God desired to be raised by human parents, who were not of royalty, they were very common. God desired to live in this world not as a wealthy man, having all the comforts of this world, but as a poor man, he did not have a real home of his own. God had no wife, no children. God had no person to love him 'for who he was'.  Actually, God was hated for who he was. God did not give into temptation of power, and riches. God did not protect his human body from harm. He did not, does not, make others love him and accept him.


What did God 'get' by coming as Jesus one cold winters night? What did that being born 'get' him?
Rejection, persecution, a painful agonizing death of body and then all of our sins dumped on him and then complete separation from the only good that ever exists, God, himself. Being born got him our death. Seriously, why would anyone desire to come and do something for someone else without expecting anything in return? Not because we deserved anything. Not because he needs anything from us, in return. JUST because he loves us.






So here I am this year, blessed with my undeserved home, husband, children, grandchildren, family friends, life here and eternally. Humbled by his grace and love.  I am small and insignificant and completely undeserving, yet God the creator of all things, came and died and took my sins just so I could live eternally with him....
Merry Christmas and thanks, God.

Dad would have been 82

 Yesterday was Dad's birthday, if he was alive he would have been 82.

   Yesterday Leslie Neilson died.  Dad loved his later movies the Airplanes 2 1/2 guns etc.  Dad's sense of humor 'went that way'.  About a week before Dad died one of the Airplanes was playing, he and I sat and watched it, he in his wheelchair and I beside him. He smiled and enjoyed it all the way through.

Sometimes I wondered on what Dad was comprehending those last days, this time allowed me to see he was 'getting' it all!

When I heard Leslie Neilson died on Dad's birthday I thought it a bit ironic.  I went to look up his info on the internet, thinking it would be REALLY ironic if his birthday was close to Dad's death date.  Well it wasn't BUT, it was exactly the day Mom died.  Feb 11.   What are the chances? (Some math geek needs to do the math) Of the 365 days of the year, this guy died on Dad's birthdate and was born on Moms death date.   Mom and Dad both would watch those movies, rent them, eventually added them to their VCR library. They even laughed at them! I still grown and most of the silliness, they loved it!

There are so very many things that remind me of Dad, I love those memories.
 Leslie Neilson, and his movies.  Other movies similar in style, one being Blazing Saddles, if ever that was on cable, Dad would be watching it.
Blazing Saddles was also a favorite of Kirks, so that has a double star on memory for me.

Thanksgiving is a reminder of Dad, not just because this slim trim for life guy LOVED to eat a good meal, but it always landed near his birthday.

Zippo lighters, Dad smoked all my life that I lived at home.  I remember he always had a zippo, until disposable Bics entered the picture.  I have a couple of his old Zippos, they don't work anymore, but they still have the smell of fluid and 'strike' when struck.  That smell gives me a warm fuzzy feeling all over.  Forever I smelled that  as Dad lit a cigarette.  If I smelled it, Dad was near me, or I him, probably sitting next to him, in the middle, as he drove.

Another memory smell, I get to smell every so often, a newly lit cigarette, mmmm Daddy.  Sorry all you anti smokers, to me, that is the sweetest smell.  I remember laying in the back of the station wagon as we made our late night drives either to or from Mamaw and Papaws house, covered up with a blanket or Dad's coat. Dad would roll down the window just a bit, the sound of the wind, the feel of the cold air, just on the top of my head, the flick of the lighter, smell of flint strike, then the sweetness of that first light of the cigarette.  I felt so secure, so close, Dad and Mom in the front, the darkness of the car,except the glow from the dashboard, the stars moving past, the occasional red ash bouncing off the window above me, to lull me to sleep.

Football on TV. Stadium lights in the distance. Coach Sanders, was my Daddy.

Orange crush.  Dad and I would share these when I was a little girl.

Broken beer bottles. We did not share these.  I was about 4 and Dad and I were at the local drive in burger joint, waiting on an order.  I was crawling around on the outdoor table. Someone had broken a beer bottle and shoved it up through the wood slats, I crawled over it and sliced my knee open(I still have the big scar).  Dad grabbed me up and put his handkerchief on it to stop the bleeding, and he was mad mad mad.  I thought at first at me, for getting hurt, messing up his handkerchief, and I apologized.  Dad explained he was not mad at me, but at the so and so that stuck that bottle in the table.

When we get the Christmas decorations down I will remember him. That was HIS job. He would get the boxes down from the attic, get frustrated with mom because she would always be telling him he had 'missed one'.

 Dad was everything to me, my parent, friend, protector, he loved me so unconditionally. I never questioned his love or approval of me, even at my worst, he never disapproved of me, just my actions.  I really can not think of anytime Dad did for himself first, he was always wanting for others.

So many memories.  Thank you God! 82 years ago a great man was born, just to be my Dad.

  

Sick of bein Sick

Evan came home from work, almost a week ago, and said his back hurt, he had hurt it he thought 'lifting lots of dirt'.

The next day he came home early with a really bad stomach ache, and his back hurt too.  I told him I had hurt my back once and it made my stomach hurt too, so maybe that was it.  I put him to bed with a heating pad.  He slept most of the day.  He got up about 6 not feeling well enough to eat.  He started throwing up soon after.  I was wrong this was something else.

The next day I felt a twinge in my back, that I thought might be that same muscle strain I had about a week before. Then I started getting that kind of woozy feeling you get when you drink too much coffee, and I hadn't. Was I getting 'it?  My back proceeded to AAAAAACCCCCCHHHHEEEE more and more, and my stomach followed. I had 'it'.

 Evan seemed to be coming back from  his misery, not throwing up any more, back aching but stomach not. So I thought ok, this will end quick, what ever it is.  Then the stomach cramps started. I honestly think they were worse that labor, at least with labor they had a cycle and a time nothing was happening.  These cramps defined gut wrenching. I had the TV on and in between times I could pass out and go into a writhing sleep and the times I was trying to MAKE it stop, I saw some parts of movies.  One was of a Keifer Sutherland being buried alive, my first thought "I will take buried alive anyday over this crap!" Later Uma Thurman was buried alive.  They both got out, my back still hurts.

Evan seemed to be better-ish by day 3 so I knew I too would be, I was by my day 3, but Evan went back to back pain and sick feeling, so then I did too.We have had moments we kind of crossed in being well together and then sick together.  Spent most of Sunday laying in my bed together watching movies, with Brian and Ashton's 2 chihuahuas and Liz the kitten too, that should be something for the memory bank.

This illness progression is now an issue I have, this virus or germbug, what ever it is and it's agenda.
How the heck does this thing know where to go, and how to do it?  I picture all these little germs, arriving at the body on this germ ship, they jump out and the head Germy starts shouting orders "Back pain for about 10 hours then stomach pain for approximately 5 hours then we will makes em hurl, after that we will back off and let them think we are gone, but actually we will rendezvous back in the back organ and continue our assault there." They, the germs seem to have this little plan, this schedule, who the heck made it?   Can these germs really think and logic out what they are going to do to us? They must be able too, we all know their plan; The 24 hour flu, the cold that last's a week, the 3 day stomach bug.The fact that they have a plan and can follow through with it, actually makes them more efficient than I!

Day 5, still trying to outsmart something I can't see.

Painting Project, not my house

Recently I was hired, given the opportunity, to paint the rooms of a friends daughters rooms.  I had painted their rooms in their previous house.  And with their next move, I was asked to do again.  What an honor!

This is Sammies room.  We still are hoping for a real honest to goodness swing to hand from the tree.

Sammie at first was a bit disappointed because I did not put a pig in the room.  She told me just a few days ago though that she loves the room.  Maybe I am forgiven.

This is Lauren, big sis's room. She graduated from a princess room to a High School Musical themeish room.

They have some posters they will be framing and putting up.  You can not tell from the pictures but the base paint is AWESOME!  When talking about it I suggested a greyish back ground, instead they found SILVER shiny SILVER, it is soooo cool!

Loved loved loved doing this.  I would go in in AM and work till the late evening. The family had not moved in yet, the best way to take over someone's home.

Keith was not the most patient husband for the 40 hrs it took me to do this.  It was not 40 straight, I had a couple of days and weekends that I did not paint, so he 'got ' me then.

It was 40 hours, but the time seemed to fly.  I wish it was faster, for them and me though.  Words take time and the tree leaves, and the rope and the music.... Well I guess it all does.

I have a few projects to do here at the house... I just can not get to them!  I am here everyday, yet instead I do ???? and don't get to them.  Maybe if I left the house all to me like they did I could get it done. ;-)

Again, really?

Well me and screwing up seems to be going hand in hand.

I just found that my 'email blog' button does not just tell my limited 10 that I have posted on my blog. It sends the blog to them as an email. With a little blip at the bottom saying it was sent through Pettyville.

This is not my intent of the blog. I write, inform, write my own little column, because I love to write, I want to let my friends and family I am alive. But only if they are checking, was my intent.

I don't really expect anyone to be following this blog, yet. I have not written enough, consistently. I thought just giving a heads up to my few, my handpicked few who would usually read and want to check in, or I wanted to want to read and want to check in. But nooooooo, I was forcing my thoughts and opinions on others, AGAIN!!!!

I have now removed the list, so those poor 10 will not even receive this,the disclaimer, retraction, allowing them freedom from my voice. It could have stopped after this, but the madness had to stop sometime, and I figured sooner was better than later.

My Mistake

I made a mistake, yet again.

The previous post MY RANT... .

I sent it to a few of my friends and family, in an email, thinking it would be an interesting read. That's all.

Letting my opinion known , which I do not expect anyone to agree nor disagree with, is my mistake. Someone near and dear has opinionated that mine is not necessary to share. Actually on many occasions Someone's' near and dear have opninion ated that mine is not necessary to share. I can not wrap my head, nor heart, around this. How can others share their opinion of me, so freely, and I should not share my thoughts, my convictions , my opinion, that are not directed towards anyone?

I suppose it is safe to expound my opinion here. You can NOT read here. An email I guess is just short of a phone call. And who would call anyone and tell them what they actually think or feel, just because they want to chat?

I am finding more and more that there are very few people in my life who actually want to listen to me. I don't mean 'listen' in the definition of 'Listen to me and do what I say." I mean listen as hear what I say, consider that I actually have a thought, belief in something.

What would be an absolutely amazing thing for me, is someone actually hearing what I say and considering it accurate, and worthy of acknowledgment. But that also is my mistake. To want for an understanding.

I like to think I actually do know what I am talking about. What I think does have merit. Sometimes I even have the audacity to believe God actually uses me, gave me the gift of exhortation so I could step out of my introvert comfort zone, on faith and rely on Him to give me words that edify, that teach, that minister. And maybe just maybe these times that I am being opposed are Satan trying to thwart, to discredit, to do what he does best, cause strife and turmoil.

My mistake.

My rant FOR Halloween

I think Dr. Dickson makes another good point FOR Halloween-- Perspective. I have been thinking on this Anti Halloween Crusade of many believers and have a few thoughts in addition to the added article. Dr Dickson is probably more of an authority since he IS a DR. but I still have an opinion, uneducated as it is.

To go with Dr. Dicksons comparison of Halloween and Christmas 'celebration': We believers do celebrate Christmas, many do remove Santa and his elfs, in order to put the REAL meaning of

Christmas in focus. Jesus Christ, his birth, and all the gifts he got and we get too. Oh, my, that was rude. I forgot the point of gifts is the GIVING, just as Jesus gave his life for us. Let's not forget the second busiest shopping day of the year is the first business day after Christmas, so we can exchange all those wonderful gifts we received. I am NOT minimalizing Jesus' birth nor the true meaning of Christmas, or what it should be, I am saying that we conveniently forget those PAGEN traditions we practice as long as it is something we can justify, because we enjoy them. Just as I am doing here ;-)

I have heard an alcoholic say the he does not believe he is truly 'recovered' if he can not be in the presence of alcohol without it threatening his recovery. I feel the same about believers who strive to 'remove' all evil, or what they deem evil, from their presence because it might 'get them'. I know that when I do evil, when I sin, I do not fall into evil, nor does evil reach out and grab me, I chose to do evil. I am not walking with Christ, abiding, obeying when I sin, it is because I am weak, or just plain stubborn. I actually think I am strengthened by being in the presence of EVIL and choosing against it, more so than surrounded by just 'good', and skipping around 'safe'.

Halloween is a lot of different cultures traditions all mixed together, as Christmas is. One being the eve of celebrating all 'saints'. Another being the recognizing of the dead, hoping to 'reconnect' so to speak, by the Celts. What may I ask is wrong with remembering those passed? The disguises, which has grown to costumes, is recognizing there are demons... Are there not demons?

It does sound as though I 'doth protest to much', but it is in response to so many who literally condemn and put down those who do not find evil in Halloween, those who are not able or choose not to see the fun and enjoy the imaginations (God given) of their children, just once a year. Fine with me if you do not want to 'celebrate', which that too seems a misrepresentation of participating in Halloween. I do not celebrate Halloween, we play on this day, pretend, dress up,we do not honor anyone nor anything. Valentines Day, and St. Patricks day are just the same. Do these people who lock themselves in their homes, afraid of 5 year olds dressed as Toy Story Characters, not p take their spouse to dinner and give valentines cards on Valentines day. Do they not reach out and pinch the poor soul who could not find anything green to wear on March 17? Is a box of chocolates EVIL? Burn all four leaf clovers! Little red haired midgets must be Satans own!

It is perspective. Halloween is just a time that kids, get to play, with mom and dad. Sure some people twist off and do something stupid, some may choose to worship some evil , but do you honestly think they only worship their evil on this one night of the year? Why not thwart at least one of their known 'worship' times by sending a little innocent joy out into the spirit world?! And if you don't want to, don't, but don't throw flaming poop at those who dare to.

I don't tell any kid they are wrong for not having fun at Halloween, I do correct them if they tell me it is Satan's birthday, cause it ain't. It is purely a choice, a family perspective.

- Dr John Dickson is a historian and co-director of the Centre for Public Christianity.As a small group of Halloween-devotees in Martin Place this week protested that October 31 is not a national public holiday like Christmas, you can be sure that thousands of religious folk around the world are right now making the opposite demand: Halloween is evil and should be banned.

I have been asked many times, both as an Anglican minister and as director of the Centre for Public Christianity: Is Halloween evil? Should Christians oppose it?

My general feeling is that Halloween is no more ‘evil’ than Christmas. In fact, the two festivals have a bit in common.

Both started out as pre-Christian, pagan festivals. Both were ‘rebadged’ by the church. And both have subsequently become heavily re-secularized. It’s commonly known that 25 December was originally a celebration of the ‘Unconquered Sun’ at the time of the Winter Solstice (in the northern hemisphere). It was a happy feast in Roman times.

When Christianity become dominant in the West in the 4th and 5th centuries people were uncomfortable with celebrating the Sun instead of the Creator. But believers didn’t cancel a huge existing party. Instead, they chose to sanctify it as the ‘birthday’ of the unconquered Saviour of the world. No one was suggesting Jesus was actually born on that date. This was just an attempt to Christianise culture. Personally, I love that spirit—sanctifying the secular instead of running away from it or trying to ban it! It speaks of an open, confident and generous version of faith. More of that, please!

Halloween is much less significant, in both its pagan and Christian forms, but it has a similar history to Christmas. Originally, November 1 marked the end of the Summer months, and the pre-Christian Celts believed that the spirits of the departed returned to their homes at that time to visit loved ones. Masks and other disguises were worn to frighten off evil spirits who were trying to cut in on the action.

Around AD 610 Pope Boniface IV decided to ‘claim’ this festival for Jesus. He moved All Saints’ (or Hallows’) Day, a feast celebrating the departed in Christ, from May 13 to November 1. The evening before was also sanctified as All Hallows’ Eve or Halloween. It was a time to remember the faithful believers of past ages and to pray that we the living might learn from their good example. The Protestants in the 16th century mostly banned the celebration of All Hallows’ Eve and Day, but this had little to do with associations with ghouls and goblins and much to do with anti-Catholicism (we Protestants have cancelled a lot of parties over the centuries!).

So, is Halloween today ‘evil’? Sure it is, if it involves the glorification (or, worse, the trivialization) of things satanic, and playing nasty pranks on neighbours who simply forgot to pick up a bag of sweets earlier in the day. Beyond that, a community dress-up involving opening our doors to each other and giving sweets to kids in fancy dress is a lovely idea. It might even build friendships in a society hungry for community.

For my part, I am sad that Halloween no longer has much to do with honouring the faithful departed and learning from their example. But that shouldn’t stop believers from making it so. The Anglican Book of Common Prayer of 1662 has the perfect Halloween prayer: “And we also bless thy holy Name for all thy servants departed this life in thy faith and fear; beseeching thee to give us grace so to follow their good examples, that with them we may be partakers of thy heavenly kingdom.”

One last thing. I’m not sure that Christmas in the wider Australian context is any more pleasing to the Almighty? If there are grades of sins, I reckon the Aussie worship at the shopping mall in the build up to Christmas and the consequent neglect of the poor until we’ve paid off the credit card are much more ‘satanic’ than allowing our kids to dress up as goblins. And what is a goblin, anyway?

Yada Yada Yada Ba Ba Sams.Really.

I'm back! Really! This is going to become a routine. Really.You will enjoy reading this daily. Really?

I have not conquered my FB addiction. So hard to not go on there and check out whatever and whomever. Really it is the best way for me to keep up with what the Jones' are doing. Not that I NEED to know, just like to. I have let my farm go. I have gone into hiding from the Mafia. The health department has probably shut down my Cafe. And my city I check on here and there, I am trying to get enough money to build a church, but those heathens in my town won't raise any for me. I am working on it. Really.

Recently I signed up (via Keith calling and saying "You need to do this.")for an online Bible study facilitating class. One of the get- to -know- you, laced with you- get -to- know- the- program, and get -you- thinking- about- things assignments was to make an argument against online Bible teaching. Most of our arguments contained this over abundance of internet use already in our lives. It taking the personal away from relationships. And it has.

I think it is a double edged sword. For introverts especially. Blogs, Facebook, online facilitating, get us 'talking' because we are not really having to deal with people and what they think, how they are looking at us, the noise they have coming out of their mouths. So these opportunities to relate with others is a good thing. We tell a bit about ourselves that no one has a clue about. We are able 'listen' and respond to others, because we can injest what they say and think about it before speaking, with out having that deer in the headlights look we all feel when we get when in public and are expected to respond to someone.

Then there is the the other side of the sword, we get stuck at home pecking away, spouting a bit too much, getting all comfortable being in our own worlds and we don't socialize with real people on real time in reality. We lie to ourselves and think we ARE socializing, we have made that people connection, because we HAVE talked to these people online. When actually we are feeding our 'get out there' aversion. To find the balance is the issue. Really.

Special K (husband) is an extrovert, and he HATES doing online anything. Not on Facebook, does not blog, of course. He barely reads anything, just for information actually, because books are just someone elses opinion or ideas, and he has his own. He gets his information from people themselves, he talks to them and sometimes listens to them, they are usually listening to him I think.

To Facebook or Not to Facebook that is the Question

Yes it has been forever( almost) since I last posted. So much to do, so little time.

A time consumer in my life, is Facebook, which, as much as I hate to agree with Keith, may be an evil, at least for me. I love reading about my friends and family. I love spouting off here and there, and I love the thought that, possibly, somebody is paying attention to me. Thus I get caught up in FB and do not do what I should be doing i.e.; Blogs, painting projects, bills, checkbooks, real face to face relationships.

As I write this I find I am having trouble coming up with statements longer than a FB post. This never was a problem for me before, you will find many many run on sentences in past Blog posts. I am most disappointed in myself.

Of course, Keith is to blame here. (Are you listening,dear?) Keith has some stubborn He-Man aversion to FB. He thinks it silly and time consuming, addictive,worse than email. (though he does not look at his own Blackberry addiction). Some of his opinion of FB could have some merit. As I first started with facebook my idea was not to use it as regularly as I do now, thus the addiction.

Let us get on with where Keith comes at fault here. Keith is a bit possessive. Keith is a bit bossy. Keith is a bit stubborn. I ,too, have my stubbornness. Well, Keith, in all his glory, declared his dislike of Facebook, his thoughts on the evils it would bring. Keith's possessive side showed when he questioned who my friends were, and if they happened to be males it was a true interrogation of who they were, how I knew them and what did I say to them.

I tried to explain to him the useful attributes of FB, but to no avail. Keith knows I have a stubborn streak, he was antagonizing me, HE caused me to react with all my stubbornness. You see a great deal of my time with Facebook is to prove my innocence with the use of Facebook. But it backfired, it is all innocent fun, but it has absolutely consumed my time.

The others to blame, are those of you friends on Facebook. You actually do communicate so much more via, Facebook than ever via Email, or phone... Stop it!! Call me, Email me.

Me? I suppose I could take a bit of the blame, I would rather not though. Truly do you think I should have listened to the wise counsel of my husband, it was a bit tainted with his own faults? AND Keith does know that I have a slight stubborn streak, he should have watched out for that. And my dear friends and family, you respond to my postings, and post such interesting things yourselves. Never mind that I could actually email you, or call you, and you would respond just as kindly. Never mind that I have this blog as a way to spout and expound my wisdom to you all!

So there you are. Now I can not say I am relieving myself completely of FB. I do not think it has come to that, yet. And do not worry, I have forgiven you all, Keith and friends and family, for leading me astray!